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Solitary confinement?

by on Aug.18, 2012, under Reflections

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away some Danish Vikings found a few deserted rocks off the north coast of Normandy and settled. Who knows why, but then again they were from Denmark. These rocks were England, the very core of what later would become The British Empire (God rest its soul).

I’ve been there on more than a dozen occasions, both business and private, but can’t for the world figure out why anyone would ever want to live there. Ever. Here’s my top three reasons not to:

  • Bad weather (As in it rains. All. The. Time.)
  • Lousy food
  • Ugly women

They’re also surprisingly bad at their own language, which is kinda funny. But if you ever visit England, don’t miss the British Museum in the center (or centre as the locals say) of London. It’s without the shadow of a doubt the world’s largest collection of stolen items. Literally anything you can imagine from Native American totem poles to the Rosetta stone. All stolen. All on display. For a fee, ofcourse (atleast they’re not communists).

Nothing good to say? Sure. People from the UK are warm, extremely polite (often above and beyond the point where it gets ridiculous) and well mannered (but then again these guys still have a different view on smacking children than the rest of us), and they have a great sense of humor.

But still, in the year 2012, they use some old school measurement system no one else has ever heard of (except maybe the Americans, but that doesn’t count), they utilize some weird non-standard power plugs, they talk funny, spell things funny (colour? WTF!?!?!) and drive on the wrong side of the road. How these retards managed to land the 2012 Olympics is beyond me, but less surprisingly is ofcourse that they did a great job with it. Go England! It’s not too late. You can still catch up. Maybe…

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